I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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