No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
