she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
