I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize