I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
