some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
