Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You made out with two different species that night
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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