Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
