You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
