Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
