she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize