There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
