Sry I called you an 8
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
