census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
