I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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