I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
