I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
