There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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