do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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