Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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