Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
