I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Every concussion has its silver lining
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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