You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i think my tv is drunk
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
