Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
