Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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