there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
