6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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