i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
