im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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