if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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