Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
