Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
