If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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