my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
