I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
