I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
