The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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