Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
