Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
