batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize