Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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