have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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