I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
