the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
