Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize