Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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