so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
