We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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