with your own penis?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
