What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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