Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
