pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
