Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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