I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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