Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
