Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
