If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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