sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
