Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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