I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
