And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Man, jail baloney is awful.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
3 2 1 whiskey
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize