to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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