this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Randomize
