Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
