I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
