Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
