The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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